I had so much fun in this episode catching up with Heleen who used to come to my Montessori playgroup here in Amsterdam with her daughter Josie. We hear all about the Montessori principles they still use in their home now that Josie is 6 and even though Josie doesn’t go to a Montessori school. We have a beautiful conversation covering:
- Montessori at home
- their Montessori spaces
- conflict resolution between children
- the grey cloud of early motherhood for Heleen and how she got through it
- involving Josie in daily life – her favourite, folding laundry!
- heading outdoors in the city
- how they used a Montessori floor bed
- keeping our own sense of self during parenthood
- how Josie finds having two mamas
- couch time – something we all need to do to stay connected if we have a partner
- and more
I also loved talking about how I’m not a perfect Montessori teacher or parent. I’m making mistakes still, reflecting on them, seeing if I can do better, and just keep doing my best. And I answer another listener question.
This week’s listener question
From Anonymous:
How to handle a situation where your child claims you will do something even when you have not done it in the past. For example I have a nearly 3 year old and a 6 month old. The adjustment to the baby was a bit tough on the toddler and I have to keep telling her to be gentle with the baby. There are times when I have raised my voice to stop the toddler from hitting/biting the baby (I have regretted this immediately and even apologised for it). However now when my toddler does something that’s not appropriate – bite baby or want something she says mummy will shout at me. I do tell her that I won’t do it and if I have done it in the past then I am sorry to hurt her and we will try and not repeat it etc but I feel she uses it as an excuse to get her way now. I can see how it might have impacted her when I was loud and I really regret it (I am anyways not a patient person and having two kids so close in age along with the sleep deprivation does not help to remain calm sometimes but I am working on it). How can I help my child and my relationship. Please tell me I can mend it!!! I need any advice you can provide.
Links
- Wabi sabi = perfectly imperfect (I love this book – Wabi Sabi Welcome*)
- Alternatives to saying no – this blog post with the cheat sheet Heleen has hanging in her bathroom:
- Wedgits blocks*
- The Whole Brain Child by Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson*
- The Mask of Motherhood by Susan Maushart*
- IUI = intrauterine insemination, a type of fertility treatment that involves placing sperm inside a woman’s uterus close to the fallopian tubes
- speen = pacifier
* links to my Amazon store
A photo of Heleen with daughter, Josie (6)
“Look mum. We’re exercising!” – Josie
